»Should I organize my thoughts? (before writing??)
Well, too late … today (March 5th, 2021) I had my one hour standing vigil in the Gasteig, in Munich. Not at the roof, as initially planned. But I went there anyway, and saw the structure from below, what made me think even more on the present restrictions due to the pandemic. There is one of the reasons why I decide to participate, by the way. I miss cultural activities so much, and having the chance to experience that again in an interactive way was great! An escape from the routine, a chance to think actively about the city and my presence on it. I was not born here. I chose to be here, and sometimes I forget that, or forget to take advantage of that, to enjoy this beautiful city, to enjoy who I can be here. In the beginning of my hour I tried to guide my thoughts a bit. Reminding myself why I came here. I also ended up thinking on the things I wanted to do in the city, always postponed, and now I can’t because of covid!
And after a while it is hard to control the thoughts, they kind of flow according their own will. But I concentrated on the experience because of a constant reminder: the cold! My sunset was not like the (Türmer project) advertising flyer, where the colors of the sky inspire you … My end of the day and transition to the evening were grey and wet … and snowy! What for me was really interesting, since I am still so excited when it snows (I am from Brazil). As the time went by my attention was less directed to what I was observing, and more towards what I was feeling: cold!!
Being outside, watching the others and the city … is a bit like watching a play. But i was not watching things from a blind spot. When your presence is where you can also be seen … well, then you are also part of the play. I noticed some people staring at me, probably thinking: what is this girl doing so long just standing there in the cold. Well, they all passed by and eventually left, but I kept there as the lights of the buildings around slowly were turned on. Yes, I could notice also the time passing by. Some church bells told me that 30 minutes were already gone. Normally at this hour I am at work, but today I left early, and being outside starting my »Feierabend«, with the weekend knocking on my door, being part of such an interesting performance, that all came to my mind and brought me joy. Brought me inspiration to enjoy the next months in which I will be leaving …
Who knows what comes next? In any case I want to be present here, and present to the people I care about. How important it is to take a moment to think about such things, to allow yourself to see things in new perspectives, to explore sensations and soak up the inspiration. Finally warm enough after my cup of hot tea, I just have that left to say: A pleasure to be a Türmer, thank you so much!!«